Voyage to the interior
Specifically, I am writing about my counselling sessions and what they have done for me.
I once again quote from someone I admire who has nailed my emotions and actions when I write my journals.
Ryan Holiday from The Daily Stoic was talking about journaling. He cited an author called Christina Baldwin who described journal writing as “a Voyage to the interior”.
I don’t know what could be more beautiful than that?
I asked Siri to give me some information about Christina. Siri didn’t let me down. I was given options of many click-through journaling pieces I could research her from. I chose a website called “peer spirit”. It was a collaborated website designed to share the life’s work of Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea. I saw many hyperlinks, but the one that caught my eye was “Life’s companion: journal writing as a spiritual practice”. This was a book Christina wrote in 1990 and was revised in 2007.
I’m honestly shaking. My frequency of realisation is levitating to a higher level. A level I would like to call “higher ground”. Stevie Wonder sang a song with the same title, but I do not know it well. The Red hot Chile peppers also created, composed and sang a song with the same title. Higher ground has always been a phrase I’ve heard since I started my developmental journey (I cannot give an accurate date as it could have been 1000’s years ago). I heard motivational speakers like Les Brown, Zig Ziggler and Bob Proctor speak of higher ground. This is not to be confused with the ego and someone thinking you’re better off or superior to someone else. Robin Sharma said it best when he spoke of the higher ground to not be crowded. The air is thinner, forcing you to control your breathing which inevitably calms you and you find stillness. I’m not sure whether Robin meant it like that but it feels so right to explain it like that. I’d like to add, stillness is the key to moving.
Counselling sessions. They have made me be still, they have made me listen to my inner dialogue, they have organised my chaos. 5 sessions in and that amount may not sound like much, and you’ll be well within your rights to say it’s a honeymoon period and everything will always feel nice in that period, however, I’d like to challenge that…
I’m 46. I knew I needed help. I trusted my innate intrinsic compass to navigate my way, but realisation becomes evident that it’s not enough, so I got to thinking, my thoughts to seek help were processed from higher ground, I asked my higher power. Charnell (counsellor) spoke to me last night and asked me about my higher power. It was a difficult conversation for me because I felt backed up into a corner of life’s wall that only the truth would have done to set me free.
I found the truth in a very dark, lost place. My higher power has always been God.
God not a being, God not a man, God is indescribable, God is a spirit, the highest spirit, the highest ground. God is my oxygen, God has always been within me, always protected me, always told me “it will be alright” You got this.
Today is a different day from yesterday. I left yesterday’s session with the empowerment that has been amplified to a new meaning. The meaning is not new. The process of finding the meaning is, but it’s always been there. It’s the ask, ask the higher power.
I am scared. Scared of not being able to be independent. Scared to not be able to live incongruent with my highest values which require wealth in health and health in wealth, but in true George fashion, I turn to a magnificent brain to give me that soundbite, that jolt of encouragement, assurance and reassurance that it will be ok, I turn to Layne Norton, A public figure in the world of fitness and someone I’ve learnt from afar for over 18 years. He says… “And then what”?
Being scared…Not doing what you’ve been put on this earth to do…By not doing it, I must then ask myself “and then what”? And that makes me do.
That was quite a voyage.
