Meditate on the Melancholy
A quick note before we get into this. As I wrote the title, I thought of the end. This article ends in a way I did not expect, but I haven’t written the end yet, so I don’t know what to expect.
However, when I commit to sitting down so I can enjoy the sound of my heavy fingers slamming the keyboard keys (for context, it’s guaranteed that I’ll think, “I don’t know how long these keypads can withstand this pounding, but I have trust in this incredible invention (MacBook Pro) can handle it”), I want the result for the reader to;
1) Finish it.
2) Enjoy it.
3) Think about it.
4) Consider challenging me with a polite reply.
5) Consider advising me on how I can serve the reader better through my writing.
6) Ultimately, in the same way, I want my face-to-face clients to feel that their invested time was valued in themselves when they finish a session with me, which gained a good ROI through my skill set.
This topic of writing (curiosity of melancholy) is new territory for me. With complete transparency, I’ve been influenced by the fantastic work of the wondrous Susan Cain of Quiet and now Bittersweet fame. So, please click her name and enjoy the most significant writings on the topic of melancholy.
Ok, we’re going in, but one more thing, I’m searching for my confirmation bias, which is something melancholy is not confirmed to be — Fulfilling, happy, or required.
My research started by searching, “what is the meaning of Melancholy” — This was not easy to read because my belief was being crushed. Descriptive words like sadness, depression, gloom, depression of the spirits, pensive, sobering musings (serious thought) and lamentable.
So, I went deeper. I checked the etymology of the word (where it came from). Getting past the Latin and Middle English meaning, I found it was first brought to the lexicon by the ancient Greeks, μελαγχολία
(melancholia, “atrabiliousness”, meaning gloomy or morose). Broken down, you have μέλας (melas), melan-, “black, dark, murky”. Then the second part, you have χολή (chole, “bile”). So, it means Black Bile.
Left brain — *Ok, George, maybe you need to face defeat and accept melancholy as a state of darkness and depression?
* Authors note: I’m comfortable talking to myself, so please be patient whilst I have it out.
Right brain — Dude! this is not a vitriol exercise. I’ve been feeling melancholy for a few days now, and depression is not a word I would use to describe how I feel.
Left brain — Well, maybe you’re not feeling melancholy? You’re just mistaking it because your ego is too big to admit defeat.
Right brain — it seems you also have a bias in knowing what you say is correct?
Left brain — I have and am, and I’ll let you know I helped you pass any exam you had.
Right brain — You did; that’s why I’m academically bang average at best. So, I will tell you, my friend, you’re right, but I’ll also let you know that I’m the creative one, and I’m disproportionately curious about exploring melancholy for the sake of good.
Left brain — Silent.
The search continued but took a twist. A twist I was not expecting.
In 2020, like many, my life and business were heavily impacted by Covid. Financially and emotionally. Another way was the mental state way. I did not see this coming, but if I could describe it, it felt like episodes of vice-like pressures surrounding my mind and body.
Of the 5 stages of grief, the final stage is acceptance, and I accepted that I needed help. So, I enlisted the help of an online counselling/therapy site called, BetterHelp. It was here I found a lady who profoundly impacted my mental state, well-being and self-belief.
The twist explained — I found an article from BetterHelp that perfectly confirms my bias that melancholy IS a good thing. The article focuses on temperament and how love is authentically shown, how analytical they (they being the melancholy types) are in their thoughts, how driven they are to get things done, how loyal they are and how self-aware they are, to name a few temperaments.
“Do you want to be melancholy”? No, but at some point in your life, especially when you’re gifted an extra day each day with good health, you will have events in your life that will challenge your well-being, that will disrupt the pattern of your life, and possibly uproot your core beliefs to have you find another direction in navigating you in this thing called life.
Recently, my immediate family and I have lost someone very dear to us. His passing created an extraordinary state of events that resulted in one of life’s greatest gifts being delivered and embraced for the sole cause of connection — LOVE.
Love is melancholy. Love is God. God is love. Girls and boys love God above (Prince — Lovesexy 1988)
PS, Please refer to the 6 thoughts above and act. I thank you.